Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
