Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We just shotgunned beers for America
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
