Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
