allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
