Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
