these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
