Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
