I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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