Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
