Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
