Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
