as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
