can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
