I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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