WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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