hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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