party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
