who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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