Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
