Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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