the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
