Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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