Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
