She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
