I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
