i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
