did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I need a beard to bite.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
