ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
