it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
