All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
