Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
