I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
