idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Randomize
