chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
