I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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