My hand turned me down
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My vagina just recognized that song.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
