This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
