My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
