my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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