So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize