I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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