So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Don't make out with my wife yet
they need to just BURY HIM!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize