Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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