And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
