I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
