i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
