'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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