I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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