Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize