so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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