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If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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