Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
