Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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