Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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