this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize