first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize