Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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