I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
