Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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