I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
