Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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