coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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