I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
