He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
